Rejection hurts, and the fear of rejection cripples. One of the most dreaded rejections comes from romantic settings, where people often associate rejection of the request (going out on a date) with rejection of the person. That’s why many people are very afraid to approach the opposite sex with romantic requests.
Based on how many people have requested that I randomly ask girls out as one of my rejection sessions, I believe you agree with me. However, since I am married with a kid, I will not do it as a date request. Rather, with my wife’s blessing and encouragement, I asked girls out for dinner with both my wife and me.
This was one of the requests that my desire leaned heavily toward a rejection, even though I had much fun in the process. The prospect of having dinner with a stranger is somewhat exciting, but could also be awkward. Since I had this concern as a requester, one can only imagine how tough it would be to get an acceptance from the requested.
In term of romance, although I am not a relationship or pickup expert, as a person in a blissful marriage, I gained some perspective in this request. Whether or not I get a ‘yes’ here doesn’t change the fact that my wife loves me and is very attracted to me. That’s really all that matters. Moreover, even in a hypothetical world where I still hadn’t met my wife yet, it still doesn’t change the fact there is a woman (my future wife), who is a perfect match for me, would love me and be attracted to me. I just haven’t met her yet. So even if I get rejected 100 more times, I shouldn’t be discouraged, because I simply need to keep looking to find my wife.
Learning: When you get turned down with a date request, don’t equate rejection with the idea that you are not attractive. You just haven’t met your match yet. Keep looking!